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[preborns]

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coan_tean

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[preborns]

Be cautious, don't exert yourself. I don't think I did any damage, but to be compelled is exhausting.





I would never have forgiven myself if I had. But I am irredeemable as it is, so I suppose that hardly matters.

[holyposition]

Yeah. I'm tired. But I'm taking it easy today. I'm going to the chapel, and then maybe some reading. Nothing stressful.

Nobody is irredeemable. Especially not someone who would hurt themselves to avoid hurting someone else.

[preborns]

Your chapel, does it have the windows from the old books? Paul told me about those, how they're made of rainbows.

I'm an abomination, Tim. What I can do is not something anyone my age should be able to do. I was warped while still in my mother's womb.


But thank you. I know you mean it kindly?

[holyposition]

It's called stained glass. It's beautiful when the sun shines through. I'd be happy to show you sometime.

[ He would argue that nobody of any age should be able to do that, but that's not very helpful, is it? ]

Being born the way that you were is no sin of yours, Alia.

[preborns]

Stained glass. I'd like to see it. Arrakis is not very big on delicate things that could crack in the heat. Not many flowers or birds either.
Beauty is fragile.

It is and it isn't. My mother underwent a ritual, a consumption of a substance that gave her the memory of every Reverend Mother who came before her. The knowledge of a thousand generations, whispering in the back of her mind at every moment. But since I was within her, I received it too. So in a way I'm my mother, making the choice, even as I am myself, being burdened with it.

[holyposition]

I'll take you, then. Not today. [ He'll be at the chapel, but he needs that time to himself, to cleanse his mind of the night before. ] But tomorrow.

That still sounds like your mother's sin to me.

[preborns]

I frightened you. Didn't I? I shouldn't have even attempted that, Tim.
I'm sorry. You didn't do anything to deserve that nightmare. It's mine to carry.

I punish children for their parents' sins—even to the third and fourth generations. Doesn't your text say that?

[holyposition]

You did. But that's okay. I asked you to do it. And now we know the protection I have does not extend to mental attacks. It's a good thing to know.

My text says: "The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself."

That goes for mothers and daughters, too.

[preborns]

It was too big of a risk, still. I should have known better. I have better control at home, on Arrakis, closer to my mother. And I scared you both. I don't want anyone to fear me.

I shouldn't have brought up your sacred writings. I don't know them nearly as well as Paul. Only the wrathful parts.

[holyposition]

I'm not offended. It's an opportunity to set the record straight. Your choices are your own. You chose to trust me, and to keep me safe against the pressure of your order.

A bad, irredeemable person wouldn't do that, and they wouldn't be sorry to have scared us.

I forgive you, Alia. I just need today to collect myself, but that doesn't mean I'm upset with you.

[preborns]

You aren't upset? Really?

[holyposition]

Not at you.

I'm upset that it got out of control, and that we worried Hawk, and that the blessing is probably only good against the wolfman. But it was an honest mistake, and I believe that you're sorry. So no, I'm not upset with you.

[preborns]

Thank you. I was prepared for your anger. I would've deserved it.

[holyposition]

You're welcome.

Hawk is still a little heated. But he'll get over it, once he's sure I'm fine.

[preborns]

I see. I'll apologize to him as well.

Does he attend your chapel as well? Or is it your quiet, solitary time?

[holyposition]

He sits with me sometimes. But he isn't a believer.

[preborns]

I see. That's sweet of him.

On Arrakis, there's no choice between believing or not.

[holyposition]

It never felt like a choice to me.

[preborns]

But it brings you comfort? Drives away the ghosts and shadows?

[holyposition]

It does.

It makes me feel like I'm never alone. That's comforting to me.

[preborns]

Do you feel loved by it? That other presence, always watching, always seeing?

[holyposition]

[ . . . ]

Most of the time.

[preborns]

Ah.

I'd like to attend. See if it brings me any peace. My own gods haven't given me that, just great purpose and the burden of an uncertain future.

[holyposition]

There's no proper service, since we haven't got a priest, but I'd be happy to pray with you.

Can I ask you something stupid?

[preborns]

Does your deity listen? Even to otherworld girls who've sacrificed in the name of other messiah?

Of course. Ask whatever you please, Tim.