My Aemond played a role in the death of Prince Jacaerys’ younger brother. He frightened him, chased him, and their dragons met above a storm. My Aemond returned to me. Prince Lucerys was never found. Swallowed by a dragon, burnt by fire, lost to the seas; it matters not.
My son would have all believe him a monster, a kinslayer, a man without fear, but I know better. I held him after. I would do the same for you.
[Alia could rage against this, against the duplicity of condemning one and comforting another, could then distance herself further and claim no similarity, one is son and kin and one is only a strange mirror of a daughter Alicent cannot hold anywhere but her mind. Yet, rather, Alia finds an odd sort of -- comfort, perhaps. Recognition.
Paul carries more blood on his hands than a million manors could hold, war in his name searing across the galaxy like holy fire. Yet Alia curls into his embrace, delights in his smiles, would shield him from every bit of grieving, righteous fury leveled at him by the families of those he's killed. He is Paul before he is Lisan al Gaib. He is hers before he is destiny's.]
We do not have a choice, when it is one we love. He will always be beloved and you will always forgive him and you will accept the consequences of that. Eventually this dream will end, and we will both return to what awaits us.
Did you stand by my accusers out of belief in my guilt? Or was it strategic? Your kin are strong, powerful, vengeful. It is not wise to stand against them.
[ at least for her sons, when even now she considers abandoning them. when the realm may ask her to choose the least deadly path for its people. aemond has turned sharp point to ashes. that is not one boy claimed by his hand but hundreds. it churns her stomach, it burns her skin. ]
I have stood against my vengeful kin before and will again.
I believe your hand is guilty, but not your heart. We are oft not ourselves in this place.
You are a mother. The last night I slept at home, it was holding my niece, my nephew. Paul's children. I grieved their birth. I cursed it. I begged every god I knew to take it back, because of what it had cost me. But I would have torn my own body open to protect them. I would have done anything. I did not have a choice in that.
I have done terrible things, Alicent. I have killed before. But I have never shied from that. I would have spoken honestly, truthfully, about any violence I committed. And Jace was innocent. He was sweet and he was blameless. He had done nothing to earn my wrath.
You believe this will happen again? The wolves will attack once more?
[ paul’s children, born of a wife from his own realm, surely. it calls to mind helaena and her most recent loss, pangs that echo across so many memories. ]
If Jacaerys lives, he will fight to kill my sons and their sons. Yet I seek justice for him, anyway. I would see him returned, at the risk of mine own blood. What sort of mother does that make me?
[ she doesn’t know. ]
I believe it will happen again until the wolves are caught, or there is no one left to die.
[The parallels are there, again and again -- twins, a boy and a girl, born to a woman who never held them, never saw them breathe. Born as Alia had been, unique, touched, special. Cursed.
She pushes the thought away, as she always does. Not her, not in this world.]
Some may argue it makes you kind. You would not see an innocent unjustly accused.
Perhaps. This place has many cells, furnished well. Perhaps this has been our host's goal from the beginning.
I will do all I can. My son has sworn to guard her, and I have urged the doctors to save her in Paul’s stead, in the event we have not caught the wolf who hunts her so doggedly.
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no subject
My son would have all believe him a monster, a kinslayer, a man without fear, but I know better. I held him after. I would do the same for you.
[ i am not afraid. ]
no subject
Paul carries more blood on his hands than a million manors could hold, war in his name searing across the galaxy like holy fire. Yet Alia curls into his embrace, delights in his smiles, would shield him from every bit of grieving, righteous fury leveled at him by the families of those he's killed. He is Paul before he is Lisan al Gaib. He is hers before he is destiny's.]
We do not have a choice, when it is one we love. He will always be beloved and you will always forgive him and you will accept the consequences of that. Eventually this dream will end, and we will both return to what awaits us.
Did you stand by my accusers out of belief in my guilt?
Or was it strategic? Your kin are strong, powerful, vengeful. It is not wise to stand against them.
Do you believe I am guilty, Alicent?
no subject
[ at least for her sons, when even now she considers abandoning them. when the realm may ask her to choose the least deadly path for its people. aemond has turned sharp point to ashes. that is not one boy claimed by his hand but hundreds. it churns her stomach, it burns her skin. ]
I have stood against my vengeful kin before and will again.
I believe your hand is guilty, but not your heart. We are oft not ourselves in this place.
no subject
The last night I slept at home, it was holding my niece, my nephew. Paul's children.
I grieved their birth. I cursed it. I begged every god I knew to take it back, because of what it had cost me.
But I would have torn my own body open to protect them. I would have done anything. I did not have a choice in that.
I have done terrible things, Alicent. I have killed before.
But I have never shied from that. I would have spoken honestly, truthfully, about any violence I committed.
And Jace was innocent. He was sweet and he was blameless. He had done nothing to earn my wrath.
You believe this will happen again? The wolves will attack once more?
no subject
If Jacaerys lives, he will fight to kill my sons and their sons. Yet I seek justice for him, anyway. I would see him returned, at the risk of mine own blood. What sort of mother does that make me?
[ she doesn’t know. ]
I believe it will happen again until the wolves are caught, or there is no one left to die.
no subject
She pushes the thought away, as she always does. Not her, not in this world.]
Some may argue it makes you kind. You would not see an innocent unjustly accused.
Perhaps. This place has many cells, furnished well. Perhaps this has been our host's goal from the beginning.
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I hope you will be returned to us as yourself, Alia.
[ released from the dungeons and the game's compulsions. ]
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This place has broken something in us, to what end, I am unsure.
I will have more to reckon with, if I am. I don't imagine my crimes will be forgiven, regardless of how they may have been completed.
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Keep her safe, when I cannot, Lady Alicent.
no subject
I hope it is enough.